Miles to date: 33.4
This morning’s run, although incredibly cold, was amazing, refreshing and invigorating — exactly what I needed after this weekend.
My weekend wasn’t bad, by any means, but I was wearing my grumpy pants, and they were mighty tight. Knowing I needed a severe attitude and mindset adjustment, a good, long run was a good start to a Monday morning. (You know, I didn’t know good starts to Mondays even existed…)
Normally, I’m a very laid back person and I just go with whatever hand is dealt my way. I also don’t “plan” my life. In fact, I really don’t picture my future beyond a few months. However, this weekend, I was overwhelmed with uncertainty and frustration because the small bit of future I am willing to foresee is a road that just ends.
For those of you that don’t know, I am finishing my master’s degree in May; and until now, I’ve only known life as a student. My life is really just a long series of academic semesters, broken up by winter and summer breaks. Come May, this lifestyle will end (thus, the end of my metaphorical road), and I have to decide where that road will go. I hate making decisions. And, to make matters worse, I’m really bad at making them — if you don’t believe me, you might if I tell you how I made my college decision…
So, there I was this weekend, wallowing in self pity because I need to actively pursue an unknown future. That’s a hard thing for me to swallow, especially given my distatse and unwillingness to make plans, of any sort.
However, despite my grumpy pants and the countless hours I spent moping in bed, by the end of the weekend, I recognized that if I’m want to overcome this uncertainty and frustration, I need to first have a better state of mind. I can’t control what will happen in the next few months, and I won’t know where I’ll be in five months, until I know. But, I can control my perspective, and that’s what I intend to do.
So, as what my older sister and I have dubbed the theme song of my life (because I’ve been fortunate enough for things to just fall into place), here’s to a new perspective …
Lee DeWyze – Sweet Serendipity